Tuesday, September 28, 2010

One of Those Days...

Have you ever just had one of those days where you just want to go back to bed the minute you wake up. Well, today is one of those days for me. I dont have really anywhere to turn to express myself except here, so here I am. I am feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders and I really dont know why. I have a wonderful life and I really cant complain much, but today I just want to sleep. Maybe it is the 4th week into homeschooling blues, maybe its Scooter being gone, maybe its hormones, or maybe its just me dealing with the devil trying to rise up in me and tell people off. Im leaning toward the latter. I dont usually cry but today I just want to call all the people who have made me mad enough to cry and tell them where to go. Maybe I dont like being told what to do by every freakin person in my life and wish that everyone would just see that Im not an idiot and that I usually am smiling to keep my mouth shut and spare them the wrath that is welling up inside. My last post was my husbands song about his "angel". If only he knew the devil that lives inside of me he may not see me in such a sweet light. What?!? I have anger issues?!? You bet your sweet butt I do!!! I just usually let people and their stupid comments roll off my back, but then there are those days that it really bites and I have to really fight my inner self to keep from hurting others the way they seem to like to hurt me. Some smart person said to me that "you train the people in your life how to treat you" and that must be true, and I must have trained most everyone I know to be jerks. At least that is how it feels today....tomorrow I will wake up and the world will feel a little more endurable and I will return to my usual doormat role and lay there and take it until I just need to express my inner devil yet again! Till then Im going to bed!!!