Ok, so I have tried decently hard not to be a complainer. I try to see things in the best light possible. However, there are days like today (or I guess I could say this whole weekend) that I just feel jipped. Dont get me wrong, I love my husband, I love my kids, in general I am in love with the life that I have. However, since my Scooter Boo took this blasted job that I feel like he took for my sake; I never see him. And then on the occasion that he has a day off, it rains like a mad hatter. I know some of you may see this as a great opportunity to have family time cuddled up on the couch, but all I see is a waste of my day. I count on this rare occasion to go off away from my everyday surroundings to escape the monotony of what life seems to be everyday. Please dont read this the wrong way. I would never trade my life as the goodmorning kisser, the lap that always seems to be full of someone (usually "D" or "F" when they can manage a moment when Little "O" is not the occupant), the boo boo healer, the best pb&j maker in the world, the one who teaches my children reading and spelling and math and life in general, the one who sees into the soul of my children by listening to their nonsense mixed in with some major revelations, the only woman who can fix "yuck I'm not eating that" 2 nights in a row, the lover of my husbands soul, the one who gets to be the first to hear all of Scooter Boo's funniest life stories, the one who gets to smell Little "O" first after his bath, and the list just goes on........ . Back to my previous thought, I just want to escape into a different world on these days when Scooter Boo is home and we can be a family. Even if we go to the exact same place to eat every Saturday, it just seems different. I guess because this is a place we go when we are a family. We just dont get much of these days anymore. I know "get over it, it could be worse, he could be in Iraq" but it just seems more torturous to know that he isnt and we still get near nothing. I am yearning for the day when we get Scooter back. Just a warning, I am getting ready to say something very harsh but please dont take it the wrong way. I am getting tired of being a single mom! What is worse is it is really beginning to show on me. The girls notice my lack of tolerance more and more each day. WE NEED A CHANGE!!!!!! WE NEED SCOOTER BOO!!!!!!
1 comment:
You are NOT alone in how you're feeling, believe me! I know exactly how you feel. There is a breaking point in there somewhere for you, and I guess you've hit it. :) I hit mine last week. I have to remind myself God will never give me more than I can handle, even if it seems like I'm going to fall off the edge any day, any minute, any SECOND. Whine all you want, I'm right there with ya! No one will think less of you. And if they do, I'll stick 'em in the eye.
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